Saturday. Feeling the fatigue of the last few weeks. One of my talking points in therapy has been acknowledging that my relentless pursuit of “doing” has implications. I’m referring to the kind of doing that is the antithesis of “just being” which is often just slowing down and recognizing that being productive is not always the best game plan. The recommendation that I find time to decouple from keeping up with the joneses has not been lost on me. It seems to be most apparent when I am exhausted, tired and recognize that I have little energy for the continual push. Why do I find it particularly annoying and bothersome that my cognitive energy is lacking? I should appreciate that we have growing self-care recognition in our cultural dialogue and that it’s relevant to find “more balance”. Nevertheless, I find it difficult to stay still.

For example, I often discover that a good session of morning mediation sets the best tone for the day. It decreases my anxiety, if I’m anxious. It often reveals the subconscious motivations that are driving me. Yet, I find myself often forgoing the practice so I can get at it. Whatever that is. Usually, it’s rushing to the office and the first meeting of the day. Plugging into the expectations of work, home and family responsibilities without framing that trajectory with self-reflection can be haphazard.
Today, I remind myself. Let this weekend have deeper symbolism and utility. It’s important that I set the baseline before many interactions. What are we trying to do? How will our efforts make an impact to do the best? How can we be of service to the community uniformly and equitably? Do I walk the walk?

In recognition of self-care, stillness, and doing less to be of greater service in the future – I’ll keep it on the down low this weekend. Helping my wife prepare for my brother’s wedding, getting some veggies at farmers market, reading, finishing my final NICA course certification and getting groceries are on the weekend agenda.
One work-related exception today. I’ll hand out awards to the Barrel to Keg Relay participants at the Rogue Brewery this afternoon representing as county commissioner.
“The Barrel to Keg Relay is a team-based event where most participants form teams of 7 runners or 4 walkers. Each team provides a volunteer to assist on the course. With an average of about 100 teams.”

My favorite quote(s) so far today comes from Maria Popova.
“Well, there are certain core beliefs, I guess. I think a lot about the relationship between cynicism and hope. Critical thinking without hope is cynicism, but hope without critical thinking is naïveté. I try to live in this place between the two, to try to build a life there. Because finding fault and feeling hopeless about improving our situation produces resignation, of which cynicism is a symptom, a sort of futile self-protection mechanism. But on the other hand, believing blindly that everything will work out just fine also produces a kind of resignation, because we have no motive to apply ourselves toward making things better. I think in order to survive, both as individuals and as a civilization, but especially in order to thrive, we need to bridge critical thinking with hope.”

“So much of culture deals with what is urgent right now and not what is important in the grand scheme of things. And there is this sort of time bias or presentism bias that happens.”
“Which is in part because of the way that the Internet is structured. So when you think of anything from a Twitter feed or a Facebook feed to a news website, the most recent floats to the top, always. And it’s always in reverse chronology. And I think that’s conditioning us to believe, rather falsely, that the most recent is the most important, and that the older matters less or just exists less, to a point where we really have come to believe that things that are not on Google or on the news never happened, never existed, or don’t matter. The internet — its beauty is that it’s a self-perfecting organism, right? But as long as it’s an ad-supported medium, the motive will be to perfect commercial interest, to perfect the art of the listicle, the endless slideshow, the infinitely paginated article, and not to perfect the human spirit of the reader or the writer.”
(https://onbeing.org/programs/mapping-meaning-digital-age-maria-popova/)
Finally, I appreciate a quote here from a reviewer of Werner Herzog – A Guide for the Perplexed. This person says “Herzog’s philosophy is clearly stated throughout. Simply put, he believes that real life is everything, and it is through intimate and committed contact with real life that we discover true understanding and meaning.” I like this. Enjoy the weekend.